Mid-Series Six Pack: Braves vs. Phillies

Hello again everyone from southeast Michigan, where the weather has once again pulled a fast one on everybody, going from mid-summer to mid-fall in one day. Yep, we went from mid -90’s over the weekend to upper-40’s last night. And it feels like fall out there today. Jeez, I’m not ready for this yet, as it’ll probably start snowing by the end of the week :(.

Anyway, back to the baseball front. As our regular readers will know, at the beginning of every series between the Phillies and Braves, Justin Klugh, from our sister site that covers the Phillies, this will link you to his take on this same six-pack.

So, without further adieu, here comes the six-packs. First, the questions I posed for Justin, with his answers in blue.

I’m in my workshop cobbling together some tools that the Braves might be able to use in the playoffs should the two teams meet. I’ve gathered up silver bullets, kryptonite, garlic, holy water, and special stakes. Anything else I should be looking for?

How about a third baseman. HAW HAW HAW HAW. [EDITOR’S NOTE: I NET JUSTIN WON’T THINK THIS IS SO FUNNY WHEN CHIPPER GOES ALL “METS KILLER” ON THEM].
That’s a little Philly joke for you, in which we make fun of one or two of your shortcomings. Get it? You get it.
No one blames you for assuming the Phillies are otherworldly, though.

Looking at your starting pitching, it appears that Roy Oswalt is the weakest link. Do you think he’ll make the post-season roster?

I can’t imagine Charlie Manuel calling Oswalt into his office and letting him know he won’t be a part of the team’s playoff run. Especially since he’s healthy and ready to re-live some murders he committed once. Not on the post season roster… if I had to guess… huh. The Phils have done a good job cutting the fat. Baez is gone. Carpenter’s gone. Herndon has improved. Kendrick is still burrowed in deep somewhere.

Speaking of your starters, since there are no mountains close by to carve their likenesses in, is the rumor true that instead the mayor has hired a banger to tag a ship in the harbor with their names?

No. But we did manage to keep our police chief when the Mayor gave him a ball signed by the rotation. It was deemed good enough to keep him from going to Chicago. I guess the $60,000 raise helped.
Also, you’d think there’d be less crime since we still have a police chief. Nope. Just as horrifying as ever. I think there may be less flash mobs of violent teenagers, but I haven’t left my house long enough to check, honestly.

As has been often said, Hunter Pence does look like a Praying Mantis in the field. How has his play for the Phillies been?

Ha ha ha. Come on. I think you know the answer to that question. Except for a pretty humiliating fall in the outfield, he’s been stellar in almost all fields. He’s got secret handshakes and official catch phrases to beat the band. But why he’d want to beat that band is beyond me, because they’d probably play whatever song he wanted.

How would you rate your fielding as a team? I see that you lead the league in fewest errors, but it looks like the walkers that some of your guys have to use to get around impedes their mobility a bit.

Not worried: Polanco, Victorino, Rollins, Valdez, Utley, Howard, Chooch
Scratching head sometimes: Pence, Martinez
Oh god: Ibanez

Then again Raul will pull one of these out of nowhere and you’re just like whaaaaaaaaaaat.

What’s the latest on Brad Lidge? Is there still a mob looking to run him out of town on a rail, or is he rapidly becoming a fading (bad) memory?

He mostly keeps to himself. I want him to do well so badly, and then he just doesn’t, and it’s like seeing your old dog bump into the wall. “What? No, he can still see. Here, you just got to point him in the right direction,” Charlie Manuel keeps saying. But all signs are pointing toward the guy being somewhere else next year. At least the “old dog” comparison ends before he’s euthanized. Probably.

Now his questions to me, with my answers in red:

Will Dan Uggla‘s focus be elsewhere, now that he’s being sued for millions of dollars?

 Nah, he’s got lots of insurance.  But if you find out what carrier wrote the policy, you might want to think about dumping your stock!

 So Chipper Jones seems pretty confident.  That’s always nice to see from a middle-aged guy who everyone thought was going to retire a year ago.

 See, we’ve told you guys in Philadelphia to leave the thinking to those who are better at it.  See what happens when you do something you’re not qualified to do?

 Jair Jurrjens!  He was the feel good story of the year.  Now he’s the knee-related story of the year.  What’s going on here?  Is he critical?  Nonessential?  Already forgotten?

 JJ is a Scott Boras client.  Need I say more? J

His knee is still barking, apparently about nothing (I’ve been told Boras taught him how to do this, but I don’t know that for sure!).  He’s rehabbing after seeing another doctor this weekend.  Don’t ask how you rehab something that doesn’t exist.

 Scott Proctor to the Yankees farm system.  Why has this happened? I’ve settled on “sick joke.”

 I’ve settled on “karma”.  It couldn’t happen to a nicer group of guys!

At this point in time, perspectives can be key.  From your point of view, I imagine 7.5 appears a large number, but to me, it can never be big enough.  Do you see the Braves making a significant dent?  Or wilting so desperately that they leave Philadelphia with their confidence in mankind shattered?  NOTE:  They may leave Philadelphia this way regardless of who wins the series.

Actually, I’m sure your lead is safe.  As a matter of fact, I’ve heard that you have some “A” ball starters that need some big league experience.  You should go ahead and call them up before the series with the Braves starts, or at least by the second game.

Let’s commiserate (maybe celebrate) for a second on the one topic we may be able to agree on.  Isn’t it great what’s happening to the Giants?  Not the injuries, so much as the silent plummet from the top?

Once again, I think that Karma is at work, this time to the second nicest group of guys. J  I agree that I don’t cheer for injuries, and we’ve all had our share of those this year.  Having said that, I think that arrogance is at play when you start talking dynasty after winning one title in a row.  But that’s just me.

That’s it for now from here.  As always, please let me know what you think!