The Zombie Apocalypse Offense Undead Game Thread


With apologies to those whose graphics I stole* from the Internet, this is the Official Undead Offense/Undead Game Thread for today’s contest between the Atlanta Braves and Philadelphia Phillies.  The Braves’ offense has been in decay - zombie-like decay, in fact – with mostly sluggish slugging and a lot of time taken off between their occasional attacks… just like your average zombie apocalypse B-movie script.

The Phils come in today with a chance to sweep the Braves right out of Atlanta and on towards an even tougher task with the Washington Nationals – whom they face for four games starting Thursday.  Yes, while it’s still kinda early, but you have to wonder if the momentum of this season might turn on this team’s performance over the next week.

Accordingly, Fredi Gonzalez has not only shuffled the lineup, he has outright taken a shotgun to it, by cutting off its head and recreating it like some mad scientist:

Not only are BOTH Uptons sitting today, not only is Simmons sitting, but there’s the strong hint of different things still to come with this lineup:

 

 

Wow.  That’s gonna be interesting going forward.

Game time is 12:10 Eastern:  join us — if you DARE!!

________________

*The bobbleheads can be purchased:

 

Tags: Atlanta Braves Live Game Thread Live Thread

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Walk to La Stella… two on, but…two out. Pena.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    1st freaking pitch. But I repeat myself.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Hale is up – 7th inning. At least it’s not the 13th.

    • Mushy Peas

      I wouldnt mind if it was the 13th….at least it’d be tied.

  • Mushy Peas

    This is embarrassing. And I’m gonna have to hear F.P. gloat about it tomorrow unless I mute the tv.

  • Mushy Peas

    Slop.

  • Mushy Peas

    7th inning…..time for another comeback.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Hale gets Howard to whiff… one hit, but no runs scored. That’s gotta be a relief for him.

    • Mushy Peas

      I imagine he’ll probably pitch the 8th as well.

  • Mushy Peas

    Ok guys, lets get this Bastard-o.

  • Mushy Peas

    John Smoltz just quoted the “Duck Song”

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Freddie can catch anything.

  • Mushy Peas

    Glad I’m alone in the house. I’ve been yelling at the tv all day.

  • Mushy Peas

    Evan’s looking hungry

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Ugh. K for Gattis.

  • Mushy Peas

    Ron Howard should direct a movie based on Evan’s life story

    • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

      Probably half-written… waiting on the ending.

  • Mushy Peas

    Ok, maybe they’re waiting for the ninth inning to start hitting.

  • Mushy Peas

    I’m thinking the Nats might try to move Denard Span. It’d be nice if the Braves could snatch him up to replace BJ.

    • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

      Really isn’t any better right now… and we’ve got Schafer.

  • Mushy Peas

    Cubs 5-1 over Miami.

  • Mushy Peas

    SOB

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    10 spot

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    How the heck did Byrd resurrect his career like this?

    • Mushy Peas

      Lately everyone’s career seems suddenly resurrected when they play the Braves.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Single.

    • Mushy Peas

      Then another non-double-play.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    FC gets the first out in the 8th.

  • Mushy Peas

    Trade Harang and Floyd. Put Hale and Woody back in the rotation. If Santana didn’t cost so much, I’d trade him before the other two.

    • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

      Might have to consider that. Still hoping Santana will rebound – not sure Harang can do that.

      • Mushy Peas

        I’ve been continually pleasantly surprised by Harang, but I just don’t see it as sustainable. They need to unload him before that happens.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    “If you promise to patronize our sponsors, you have our permission to go walk your dog.”

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Chris J whiffs. 1 out/bottom 8.

  • Mushy Peas

    Yikes.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Doumit goes down. That’s 4 in a row to whiff.

  • Mushy Peas

    This guy has good stuff.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Joe Morgan @joe_morgan 32s
    Alex Wood’s final line for Triple-A Gwinnett today: 5 IP, 5 H, 1 ER, 2 BB, 3 K. 73 pitches, 48 strikes. #Braves

    • Mushy Peas

      Not bad Woody.

      • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

        I think I heard “2 more starts” for him.

        • Mushy Peas

          Interesting. I smell something cookin’.

          • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

            Oh yeah… it’s definitely on the burner.

          • Mushy Peas

            I just hope WE don’t get burned by another bad trade.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    So naturally, we have another rally starting after 2 were out. La Stella.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    End of inning.

  • Mushy Peas

    I’m feeling rather depressed.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Shae Simmons.

    • Mushy Peas

      Really like this kid.

      • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

        He’s been better, quicker than I’d thought. Also thought we wouldn’t see him until 2015.

        • Mushy Peas

          I was also a little surprised he made the jump so soon, but with the obvious pen struggles, I applaud that move.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Huh – Doumit makes a play.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Nieves may have pulled a hammy or something. Nonetheless has a double.

    • Mushy Peas

      Probably a charlie horse. Dehydrated.

  • Mushy Peas

    How many times do I have to say “good grief” today?

    • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

      We’re in the 9th… not much longer.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    Amazing – a strikeout of Ryan Howard. We go to the last of the ninth. 10-5 Phils.

  • Mushy Peas

    Waitimg for the second out for them to start the rally.

    • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

      Well, we’re there.

  • Mushy Peas

    Really bad day for Harang to have his ‘fluke’. Of all the days he needed to pitch well and give the bullpen a break……good grief!

    • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

      exactly.

  • Mushy Peas

    Damn. I’m trying to stay optimistic, but they’re making it really hard.

  • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

    And there we go. The Zombies are swept 10-5. Invade Washington next. Good luck w/that.
    Thanks for hanging around today… results aside.

  • Mushy Peas

    Enjoy the rest of your day, Alan.
    Better luck tomorrow.

    • http://tomahawktake.com/ carpengui

      Cheers!

  • Mushy Peas

    The upside of being a zombie is that they are relentless and feed off your vulnerabilities. Hopefully they can tap into that when they’re in D.C. Though that town is already full of living corpses.