Atlanta Braves GM Alex Anthopoulos – Bringer of Sadness with Josh Donaldson to Twins
By Seth Carter
The Atlanta Braves have missed out on the Bringer of Rain. Now, what do we do?
With aspirations of a World Series dancing in our dreams, Atlanta Braves‘ country was about to tuck the kiddies into bed when new broke that destroyed bedtime stories everywhere.
“Josh Donaldson signs with Minnesota Twins.”
Even worse:
“Four-year deal, $92 million.”
…
While Donaldson remains the Bringer of Rain on one of the rainiest teams in the league, General Manager, Alex Anthopoulos is now the Bringer of Sadness across Braves’ country.
We have to pick up the pieces… literally, pick up the pieces of the children’s bed-time stories that we ripped to shreds when the news broke over our Apple watches. Children are crying all over the southeast portion of the United States as Josh Donaldson packs his bags and heads north.
Parents began Tomahawk-chopping the children’s teddy bears and crying “$92 million!?!” to the youthful bewilderment of the dumb kids.
Damn-Yous!!!
What now?
Well, the Braves have a huge-gaping hole behind Freeman. We can only cross our fingers with Camargo and Riley and hope for an “okay” season. That’s not how World’s Champions are born.
There has to be another plan in place. Before I move on to the drastic measures we must undertake, let me just say thank you.
Thank you to Josh Donaldson, THE Bringer of Rain for his one incredible season with the Braves. You helped increase Freddie Freeman‘s runs-scored total by almost 20. You added an enthusiasm that reached us through the screen.
Last year was one of the most difficult of my life, and boy did my family look forward to checking out from reality to see Donaldson and the Braves willing a rally to happen. I’ll never forget him on the top step of that dugout.
So, thank you to the Bringer of Rain. I wish I had $110 million, I’d happily give you $109 and… I’d figure out a way to make it work.
What’s left on the free-agent market?
Nothing.
Pache has to GO
Perhaps I’m being emotional. I’ve long thought Kris Bryant was a fantastic option for the Braves. He’s young, in his prime, and his salary is worth giving up a couple of prospects.
His grievance isn’t an issue — he won’t win. If it was a possibility do you think the Cubs would risk selling at a discount?
The Cubs need a CF, and Cristian Pache is one of the top prospects in all of baseball.
Prospects may or may not work out. What are the odds a prospect becomes the next Kris Bryant?
Pache being as good as Bryant is the best-case scenario.
If we get Bryant, all is forgiven.
Let me ask you, how do you feel about giving up a speedy defender in center field that profiles like an Ender Inciarte, to have Kris Bryant behind Freddie Freeman?
In all my emotion, this is my solution. What say you?