Atlanta Braves: Cristian Pache Passing the Eye Test

The Atlanta Braves are counting on Cristian Pache to step up on a World Series contender in 2021. Here are some eyewitness attestations as to how that’s working out this spring.

I had the pleasure of taking my son to the Atlanta Braves and Baltimore Orioles game on Saturday the 27th at Cool Today Park in North Port. We were seated near a couple of people who clearly didn’t understand how baseball worked. They were clearly only there with tickets provided by an employer or a friend or something.

The first guy was a hulking specimen. He said his name was Michelle, but everyone called him “The Mountain.” He was sitting alongside his effeminate friend in Ray-Bans. His name was Anderson Scott.

I tell you that to preface this.

The eye test is a valuable tool. All of the stats and metrics are very useful and fun to dive into, but a lot of the time they are supporting what our eyeballs tell us.

At first, I was annoyed by the two morons next to me. Not that they were unintelligent in normal life, but their Baseball IQ was very low. Eventually, I grew to love them. I also learned a lot by listening to their takes on the game being played a mere seven rows in front of our seats.

This was my third spring training game this season and I don’t need stats to tell me that Max Fried is the best pitcher I’ve seen so far. His stuff just looks and sounds different. He stands out.

My son and I were discussing the effectiveness of his breaking ball early in the first inning when Anderson Scott’s confused gaze interrupted our conversation.

“How did he break the ball?” He asked in what appeared to be a one-twelfth French accent.

If you watched the broadcast, you may have heard these two trying their best to immerse themselves into the game they didn’t understand. They were shouting words of advice you would normally hear at little-league games.

“CHRAVIS!!! CHRAVIS!!! Keep your elbow up CHRAVIS!” Anderson Scott would bellow with nothing but benevolent intentions, having no idea he was making himself sound as stupid as he looked.

And yes, he was talking to Travis d’Arnaud. I swear he somehow pronounced it with a “CH” at the beginning.

These two strangers to the game continued to pepper me and my son with questions you don’t want to have to answer at a baseball game. Some of which, I really couldn’t answer.

“If a pitcher is very good at stopping the other team from scoring points, why doesn’t the other team just hit him when he bats?” asked the Mountain.

Before I could come up with a reasonable explanation, Anderson chimed in, “Why is Blooper the mascot going aisle to aisle and dry-humping the handrails?”

Does Cristian Pache Pass the Eye Test?

I tell you all of that to get to this. Cristian Pache dazzled the fans with three spectacular plays. The first was a showstopping throw from centerfield to nab Tyler Nevin. It was a foregone conclusion that he was going to score and then… he didn’t.

We had an eye-level view of the throw from right behind the Braves dugout. It appeared to have come in at about 160 mph. You could hear the ball slicing through the infield air. What we thought would be an easy run for the Orioles ended up not even being that close of a play at the plate.

The crowd erupted. My son and I rejoiced. I looked over at the two clueless fans and they were on their feet screaming and cheering. They were dumbfounded at what they had just witnessed. They may not know much about baseball, but they knew that what they just saw was nearly superhuman.

At that point, I realized that I had a lot to learn from these two.

Pache continued his dominance in centerfield. He made a diving catch on a shot into the left-center gap and I swear he was flying.

Later on, he showed off the speed/range and made a great running catch while smashing through the outfield wall. He slammed into one of the sections of the wall that was a door and went right through it.

His speed was evident at the plate. He made routine groundballs nailbiters by burning it down the line.

About the time the Braves began replacing their starters, the two friends decided it was time to leave. Especially when William Contreras replaced “CHRAVIS” d’Arnaud.

As they were scooching past us to get to the aisle, Anderson Scott overheard me mention Travis Demeritte.

“Wait, what’s his name?” he asked, stopping dead in his tracks.

My son replied, “Demerrite.”

“His first name?”

“Travis” my son explained.

He looked as if he had just won $1,000 in cash. “There’s another CHRAVIS!?”

So, they worked their way back to their seats and decided to stay for a few more innings. This gave me the opportunity to ask them who they thought the best player on the Atlanta Braves was.

Their answer: Cristian Pache.

I told you they had low baseball IQs. Of course, he’s not going to be better than Freddie Freeman, Ronald Acuna Jr., or Marcell Ozuna. The point is, he passes the eyeball test with flying colors. You can tell there is something different about the way he plays the game. He stands out.